Guaranteed Job Security

In a recent job search on Craigslist I selected a post with the heading "Guaranteed Job Security." In this current economic climate, guaranteed job security stands out! After clicking onto the add, this is what it read:

"Cemetery Sales is the best sales job that no one knowns about. If you want never to be with out work and make the big bucks call our Director... . Please email first . If you learn to sell cemetery products and memorial estates you can sell anything...

So much to say about this ad, so little blog space.

First off, I did not realize that cemetery sales was the best kept secret that no one "knowns" about. (Their spelling mistake, not mine.) It does make sense though. I mean everyone dies, and most people in the United States of America get buried in a casket, in a plot of land somewhere, so it is true, you can always guarantee a market.

Secondly, can you really sell anything if you can sell cemetery products and memorial estates? If the money is so good, why would you want to sell anything else??

Oh what the hell. It's worth a try.

I figured, my background in crisis intervention, my experience in helping fields, and a graduate education focused in pastoral care could actually benefit me a great deal in offering a mix of determination and compassion to both the employer and their clients.

Could I get over the creepiness factor though? My gut tells me you'd have to be a special breed to sell caskets, plots, and grave stones all day. I bet the money is good though.

You bet your sweet casket I sent my resume in. We'll see how it goes. And I WILL call the director (Thanks Lara ;-)

Workplace Rejection

In the past three days, I've applied for four different jobs. I applied for a sales position at Costume World in the Strip district, a case manager position at Lydia's Place, a Floral Designer position at a florist and Oakland, and I applied for a paid Arts Administration Internship with the Pittsburgh Opera.

The difficulty in applying for these jobs, and all of the jobs I've applied for so far, is that they are faceless. They are all (with the exception of Costume World) jobs I found and applied for online. The hiring managers are not able to look me in the eye to get a sense of who I am or what kind of worker I might be, and we have modern technogoly to thank for that. I really do think you lose something when you apply for jobs without that face to face contact. Not only that, but jobs that are advertised online are usually the kind that insist "no calls please!" So you can't even call these people and ask what the status of your application is or anything. I am just expected to fill out an application, maybe send a resume and cover letter and just let it do it's thing. I get no feedback, no courtesy call, nothing. And if they don't hire me, I never know why, I never know what the person who DID get the job had over me!

I am starting to think that looking for a job is like dating. It's like when I guy asks you for your phone number, or even takes you out on that first date, but never calls after that. You're left wondering what you did wrong, if you didn't look right, if you talked to fast, or didn't come from the right pedigree, etc.

I seriously think this who job application process is giving me a complex!

Cool Tools!!

One of the things I am learning throughout this job search phase of my life is that I must be good at marketing myself if I am ever going to convince someone else to hire me. It is a competitive market out there and if I don't have something that others don't, I will be jobless forever.

So lately, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out how to add a little pizazz to my resume and draw some attention to my hard work, experience, and education. I recently visited a blog that was super duper adorable. I saw on the right of the blog that the blogger had her resume, portfolio, and published work as links on her blog page. Uh, DUH!!! What a great idea!!! So I googled "Resume hosting sites" and found a page that showed "the top 5 free resume hosting sites."

These host sites allow you to create a resume using their templates. I decided to go with Lead You because I liked the more non-traditional look. The process was very easy. You just create a username and password, choose a template, fill in your personal information, add the resume elements you want to include, and voila! Click "DONE!"

Not only can I now post my resume to my blog, I can email it, share it, post it to facebook AND my friends & family can also send it to others as well!

The good thing about this format is that YOU can provide feedback if something on my resume needs revising or if I have a spelling error that I missed.

*Note: IF YOU SEE A SPELLING ERROR OR YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WORDED FUNNY PLEASE TELL ME!!! I can't stress how open I am to constructive criticism regarding my resume. If I am overlooking something it may be the difference between an interview and getting my resume tossed! So please, BRING IT!!

Hopefully sharing these cool tools will give me some good job search Karma and won't simply give someone else the advantage over me!!

When No one is Looking

I once heard that a way to measure your own integrity is to think about what you do when no one is looking. If you are the type of person who would cheat on a test or steal a pack of gum, just because you could then you'd probably be one of those people who are lacking in the integrity department.

That integrity test recently made me wonder if there was a parallel way of figuring out what kind of career path you should take. It got me thinking...what do I want to do when I am not getting paid. What kind of work do I like to do when no boss is looking, or signing a paycheck. It may sound cliche or like a no brainer to posit such a question, but for me it's one I don't think about enough. I get the impression that many people do things for work that simply bring home a pay check and they have hobbies of some sort that are completely different from their jobs. I don't want that for myself. I want to be one of the fortunate ones who comes homes at the end of a hard day's work knowing that my hard work was enjoyable, meaningful, and filled with opportunities for growth.

So here is a list of things I like to do, that I would like to somehow get paid to do. These are the things I like to do when no boss is looking.

1. Collect and fix old furniture.
2. Salsa dance
3. interior decorating/design
4. Read/write about current events, politics, and religion
5. Write about my own experiences and life reflections
6. Bake
7. Quilt
8. Teach youth how to do cool stuff

Now I have to figure out how to get paid to do these things.

Will Work for FREE!!!

So do you want to know how hard it is to find a job right now? It is so hard to find a job right now, I can't even find one that DOESN"T pay!

About a month or so ago, I got an idea to volunteer. Part of my motivation was altruistic, but most of it is was self serving. I figured that if I volunteered at places where I could meet people and network that maybe I would make some connections that would count when it came to finding a paying gig.

First I decided to become a "Big Sister." I may not have many networking opportunities as a Big Sister, but I think I would enjoy being a positive influence in the life of a young person. I filled out the online application. A woman sent me an email saying that the online app was just a preliminary application. She explained the expectations of a Big Sister and then asked, "do you still want to do it??" as if it were really torturous to commit to a child once or twice a month. She explained that if I were still interested I'd have to fill out the attached application and that I'd have to probably wait six months to be matched with a child. Apparently there are not that many kids who need a positive role model in their lives. Who knew?

I then decided to offer my services to the arts. I went to the Carnegie Musuems website and inquired about volunteer opportunities. It was a couple of weeks before I got a response. By the time I did, I was asked to fill out an application...to be a volunteer! References required and everything! I couldn't believe it. They might have been on to me though. After all, I did apply for an actual paying job just weeks before. But what's a girl to do??? I can't just sit on my butt all day eating bon bon's and updating my facebook status!! I need some interaction and intellectual stimulation.

So I filled out another application and submitted it. Two weeks have gone by. Two weeks have gone by since I applied for a non paying volunteer job, and I have not gotten a call back. Did I mention I have a Bachelors degree in Art and a Masters degree in Theology?

So What do I want to DO?

One question I get asked a lot when I tell people I just graduated or that I need a job is, "Well, what do you want to do?" I can't figure out why this question is so difficult for me to answer, but it really is. Sometimes I want to answer that there isn't much I don't want to do! I am interested in so many things which makes focusing in on one discipline nearly impossible for me. On top of that, Many of the things I'd like to do require more education, and while I could go to school forever I just can't see taking out one more loan!

Like I said in an earlier post, I have a Masters degree in Theology. I chose that field because at one time, I was really interested in tackling some of the problems within the church regarding how clergy and congregation members handle interpersonal violence. Prior to my graduate work I worked for a non-profit agency, The Center for Victims of Violence and Crime. I loved my job there. It was challenging and even heart breaking at times, but it was very rewarding. I used to get so frustrated with the response of many churches and church leaders that we worked with. I couldn't believe how many women would tell us that when they sought the help of pastors, elders, etc for guidance regarding a physically abusive husband, they'd hear things like, pray for your husband, submit to him more, and do not disgrace him by telling others. It used to make my head spin with rage that people of God could be so damaging and downright stupid.

Another time I offered to present a free program to a Religious community center for youth on dating violence prevention and was told by a woman there, "We don't believe in sex before marriage so we don't think your program is appropriate for our youth." Uh..pardon me WHAT??? As if helping youth understand the risks of date rape somehow promotes premarital sex!?!?

I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I was committed to the church as a believer and active member, but I could see so much hurt among abused women who sought help from the church, and so much denial in regards to the problems youth faced in dating reltionships. At the same time, I would hear criticism from other church goers, because the organization I worked for "wasn't Christian." Never mind that our organization was the only comprehensive victim service agency in Allegheny County. Never mind that I couldn't find ANY faith based institution in the state of Pennsylvania that helped victims of sexual or domestic violence, and never mind that our secular non-profit agency was often left to clean up the mess created by well intentioned but ill informed pastors. The whole thing just drove me crazy.

So I set off to seminary partly to understand what the nuts and bolts are that fuel people to think the way they do, and partly to gain an education that would give me credibility so that I could challenge systems within the church that failed victims of violence.

The only problem was that I did not figure in the existential crisis I came across while pursuing my theological education. I did not expect my beliefs to be challenged to the degree that they were, and I did not expect my doubts to increase with my depths of study. But that is the way it happened. Now I am faced with the reality that I have a degree in theology, very little faith in what I used to have faith in, and absolutely no desire at all whatsoever to work in or with a church.

I suppose I still have a heart for victims of violence though, but not in the same way. I am not as interested in direct service. At this point I am more interested in fighting for funding of such programs and raising awareness that such services exist. Maybe. I don't know.

At times I just don't want anything to do with people who are hurting. I want to just escape from it. That's what was going through my head I think when I looked into being a franchise owner of a party store. I love parties. All kinds of parties. I love planning, attending, and decorating for parties. I love getting dressed up for parties, and I love meeting new people or seeing old friends at parties. And who doesn't? Yeah, parties are good. I think it would be rare to go home from a day of helping someone plan a party with a heavy heart and a sense of hopelessness for the world. Just a guess.

When I am not thinking about being an advocate for victims of violence or the owner of a party store, I also think about being a college professor (teaching on Women's studies, Sacred art, Race in America), a floral designer, a business owner (reupholstering furniture/implementing green/recycled elements in interior design), being a museum curator, a dean of a university or a dance therapist (helping people in crisis by teaching them how to salsa). Some of those things require more schooling, I know.

Those would be my big picture kind of jobs.

Jobs I wouldn't mind doing in the meantime are pretty vast. I would love to try something different, something outdoors like farming. I can be administrative so I could go that route too. I watch my friends' kids from time to time and I think I am pretty good at it, and I enjoy it. I'd do well at a job in some kind of hospitality field like catering, serving, or party planning. I may also offer my services as a Christmas decorator this year. I heart decorating for the holidays.

Danielle Goes to a Food Bank

So a month or so ago, I reached a pinnacle in my unintentional quest for humility. I needed to go to the grocery store but I had spent my last few dollars putting gas in my car the day before. I probably could have asked my parents for money but felt that they had already helped me out so much with paying bills I was behind in paying, I just couldn't ask again.

I decided it was time to do a little research on food banks in my area. Yes, you heard me, food banks. Here I am, with two degrees in my pocket, a couple thousand dollars worth of theology books sitting in my boyfriend's basement, research papers out the wazoo, and $80,000.00 to prove it, yet I had to go to a food bank the other day. It was really odd. Not only was I embarrassed to go to the food bank, I was embarrassed that I was embarrassed!

First off, I didn't know what I should wear to the food bank. I mean, I haven't gone clothes shopping in a LONG time. And when I do, I usually shop at Target or discount stores. However, I dress nicely and I take care of myself. Most of the time I wear red lipstick and a flower in my hair. But preparing for a trip to the food bank presented a conundrum I had not faced thus far in my adult life. Should I dress down? Skip the make up and the flat iron? Skip my bangle bracelets? I had this strange urge to make myself look deserving of the free food. As if looking nice would disqualify me. I decided I was being silly so I just wore a typical outfit I would wear and groomed myself in the way I do every day, and I left.

When I got there, I had to fill out some paper work and explain my income situation. I told them I didn't have any! But that is only partially true. I mean my boyfriend gives me money when I need it. He buys food and other necessities too. He is also taking on the rent, utilities, and household expenses. Should I have told the food bank that? I wanted to, but I felt like charity = religion and religion = rules, and rules = no cohabitating with boyfriends after you graduate from seminary. So I didn't tell them.

I finished filling out the paperwork and then the woman pointed me in the direction of a skinny hipster dude with tattoos who was a volunteer. He went to a storage room and filled four grocery bags with what I presumed to be some much needed staples. I got my bags of groceries, thanked the hipster volunteer guy, and in the split second that our eyes met, I secretly wanted to let him know that I had a Masters degree. I wanted to tell him that I was educated, smart, resourceful, independent, and not "needy" or "poor." But the heavy bags of clanging canned goods told me to shut the "@#$&" up.

So I walked to my car with my head held high, put my groceries in the passenger seat and began examining their contents. Two cans of tuna, peanut butter, jelly, canned corn, canned beans, canned mandarin oranges, pasta, a bag of frozen chicken nuggets, and a box of milk. Yes, I said a box of milk. I thought to myself, "Boy Danielle, you have really hit rock bottom. Canned fruits and vegetables? What's next? 250 thread count sheets???" I consoled myself with mantras of "It's only temporary" visualizations of the produce section of Whole Foods, and set off to look for jobs in my neighborhood.

I live in the South Side of Pittsburgh. The main drag is known for bars, coffee shops, ma & pa shops, restaurants of all kinds, and artsy establishments. It's probably not a row where I'd find my life's work, but maybe something to hold me over until the perfect job comes. Much of the offerings were off limits to me because I am allergic to cigarette smoke, and Pennsylvania hasn't gotten the memo yet that smoking is deadly so you can still smoke in most bars. I walked past a salon that was hiring a "Guest Relations Manager." Translation: a minimum wage job taking appointments, sweeping up hair, greeting customers, and looking perfect. I figured I'd try to apply for that one because then I could possibly get free hair cuts and colors, and that would be great! And I'd also get a good deal on shampoo that didn't come from a grocery store, perk number two! The only problem was that I have about an inch and a half of salt and pepper roots pushing my Chocolate Cherry silk out of the way. I certainly couldn't apply for such a job with my hair being in that state! So I decided to stop hitting the pavement and went home to cook dinner with my food bank goodies.

Yum!

And the adventure continues...

Bright Eyed

On June 13th I strutted my stuff to the tune of pomp and circumstance proud of my accomplishment of being the first person in my family to earn a Masters degree. I received that validating piece of paper with the knowledge that I could not have done it without the friends and family who supported me in so many ways throughout the years. I had the belief on that day, that even in the midst of a recession, I'd find a job. I'd make my family proud doing something I love, no problem.

I began sending resumes months before graduation to prospective employers in the hopes of finding that dream job...you know the one that would allow me to pay off my $80,000.00 in loans AND help me make the world a better place? I was living in Los Angeles when I started applying but knew I'd be moving back to Pittsburgh, so I focused my efforts there.

Now mind you, I have a Masters of Arts in Theology and a Bachelors degree in Fine Art-two highly unmarketable degrees unless you are REALLY focused and determined in either field, which as it turns out, I may not be. As it is, it's what I have to work with at the moment. Most of the jobs I looked for were in the non-profit or higher education sector. I do love working with college students. I also think I am a pretty amazing advocate when it comes to being a voice for the disenfranchised.

Chatham University (three positions), The University of Pittsburgh (three positions), Carlow, Point Park, the YWCA, CASA, The Pittsburgh Promise, Carnegie Museums, Phipps Conservatory, the Federal Government, the City of Pittsburgh, Goodwill Industries and The Beehive (a coffee shop) are just a few of the places who have received my credentials, references, cover letters, and hopes and dreams. So far I had one interview. Just one, and it either went really well, or I bombed I can't tell(more on that later).

It has been about 6 months since I started looking for work, and I have to tell ya, I AM EXHAUSTED!!! It is mentally, spiritually, and even physically draining to apply and apply and apply, and not get a single call back (well, except for that one). It is really hard not to take it personally, and really hard to keep the momentum going in order to keep searching. I know how to write a confident cover letter and resume. I know how to use spell check. I know that the jobs I apply for, I am qualified for. So what is the deal?

I realize that the job market is more competitive right now because of the slagging economy, but SHEESH!!! So I've come up with a mantra that I will say every day: My worth is not determined by my employment status...My worth is not determined by my employment status...my worth is not determined by employment status...Ommmmm.